Title

Title: Hold On (1/? a series) Part One--Sex, Lies, and Betrayal

Author: Smurf

Rating: NC-17

Category: Story/ Romance/ Angst/ dash of humor

Spoilers: Season six, Zoe I, Travelers (wedding ring)

Keywords: Mulder/ Scully romance (implied)

Summary: Need I say more? No, but here's some anyway: A certain person may threaten the ever-strengthening relationship between Mulder and Scully. What will it take to save them?

Hiya Peeps!! I'm baaaaaaaccck!!! Did you miss me? No, that's okay. I must tell you readers that this story DOES branch off the Zoe series. So, YES Zoe is in this one. And YES Mulder and Scully are in a relationship. All you Noromos out there, buh-bye! Don't let the door hit your no-romance asses on the way out!

Disclaimer: Eh hem. A little ditty I thought up: (To the tune of 'Mary Had a Little Lamb')

Mr. Carter had a show, had a show, had a show. Mr. Carter had a show, X-files was its name. He owns all the characters, characters, characters. He owns all the characters, along with the Fox network. I will not make any money, make any money, make any money. I will not make any money off of Mulder and Scully. Please do not send your lawyers, send your lawyers, send your lawyers. Please do not send your lawyers, I don't have any money. ~FIN~ Okay, you get the picture I don't own any of the characters you recognize, except Zoe, I do own her. Feel free to use her, but acknowledge ME the SMURF somewhere. Oh yeah, the songs Some Fantastic (Ivory and Ivory) and Light Up My Room are owned by the Barenaked Ladies, the songs Desperado and Wasted Time are owned by The Eagles, and Fear is owned by Sarah McLachlan.

A Final Note: Yeah, Mulder and Scully use quite a bit of language in this one. Sorry, I couldn't stop it. The voices in my head write these stories, not me. I just do what they tell me to do. I better shut-up before they call the men-in-white on me. This is my first NC-17 story. My first (Zoe) was originally going to be dirty, but I watered it down for a reason all my own.

Thoughts are in <>. Songs not actually playing, just there are in <<>>.

In the words of Briehan, "Insanity does come best in pairs."

Oh yeah, I forgot something, this is a Song Story. Sorry if that bothers you. If it does, here's a song line for you: "Get over it!"

Okay. Drum roll, please!! The story. . . . . . . . . . .

From a song: Hold On, by Sarah McLaclan

"Hold on

Hold on to yourself

This is gonna hurt like hell."

Hold On--Part One: Sex, Lies, and Betrayal

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scully's Residence

10:02 a.m.

"What do we do now?" Mulder asked Scully. They lay in Scully's bed, forehead to forehead, arms entwined around each other.

"I don't know. What do you want to do?" Mulder pulled away from her a little and turned onto his back. He stared at the stiletto designed ceiling, thinking of an answer.

She remained on her side, watching his peaceful expression as he stared thoughtfully at the meaningless swirls on the ceiling. Her head was propped up in her hand. She waited patiently for his suggestion as to how to pass their time.

He dropped his gaze from the ceiling to her. She was wearing a long, man's button-down shirt. Her hair was tousled around her face from sleep. Since it was late in the morning, she didn't seem to be the least bit tired. A small lock of her auburn hair fell in front of her face as he watched her. He reached over and pushed it back behind her ear. She smiled at the gesture and took his hand. She then kissed it gently on his knuckles and squeezed it in the most compassionate way. He took his opposite hand and stroked her cheek. She smiled sweetly again. These were the little things so preciously cherished between them. The little things only two people in love could fully appreciate.

"So," She said again as she flopped from her position to one like Mulder's. "What are we going to do now?"

Mulder grinned his lopsided grin. "Get naked."

Scully laughed lightly and looked at him. "So subtle. But. . .we already did that today."

"There isn't anything saying we can't do it again." He attempted to persuade as he moved closer to her and sliding his arms around her waist.

She met his lips with her own and kissed him warmly. She even lingered for a moment, sucking on the softness of his bottom lip. The invitation was sweet, but not accepted. Eventually, she pushed him away and sat up. He groaned with disappointment and pulled himself up as well.

"I just remembered that I have a lot of stuff I need to do today." She said as she slid off the edge of the bed.

"Stuff? What stuff is more important than *me*?" He inquired, following her around the room as she got dressed.

"Cleaning." She replied as she pulled on an old tee-shirt. The shirt stated 'Give a Man an Inch, He thinks He's a Ruler.' It seemed to fit what Mulder was doing to her right now.

"Cleaning, that's no fun." He whined.

"Yeah, I know. But this place is a pig-sty and has been since you moved in." She claimed as she walked out to the kitchen.

He smiled jokingly at her, "What is that supposed to mean?" He asked, feigning offense.

She stared him straight in the eyes, returning his sarcastic smirk. "It means men are slobs."

"Oh."

Scully got to work quickly, being her efficient self. Instead of helping her, Mulder preferred to sit on the counter and watch. He watched her lug the heavy vacuum all the way from the hall closet to the living room, without bothering to move a muscle. Her reasoning behind this escaped him, since she started in the kitchen.

She began on the grimy dishes cluttering the sink. He watched her load the dishes in the dishwasher, plotting something against her. She had turned on the radio and was humming contentedly along with it.

~~One day I will build a fountain

Drink and never grow old

Then I'll market an elixir

that will eliminate the common cold

Find your sickness on my list

Pay up front and make a wish

One day I will work with animals

All the tests I'm gonna do

All my stuff's completely natural

And when we're done we'll boil 'em

down for glue

that we can use to re-adhere

your lips to mine if you were here

There's a lot I will never do:

Some fantastic, I know it's true

But none as much as my want to be with you. . .

Deciding when and how to cause trouble was something that came easily to Mulder. It was a *gift* he'd possessed since childhood. This is why he slid off the counter and got an ice cube out of the freezer.

. . .One day I'll construct a satellite

and I'll name it after you

'Cause you were the greatest friend of all

except for when you split my lip in two

To see the look upon your face

as I launch you into space. . .

With the Barenaked Ladies singing their delightfully funny song on the radio, and Scully's humming, she didn't hear him approaching her. He waited for her to stand before pulling back her shirt collar and dropping the cube down her back. She screamed from sheer surprise when the ice touched her skin. She arched her back and tried to shake the cube out. Her scream turned to a chilled gasp as the ice cube fell out of the bottom of her shirt.

He hopped back onto the counter, laughing. He grabbed a handful of sunflower seeds from a bag and popped one into his mouth, hoping to stifle his laughter and resume a more innocent position.

"Mulderrrr. . ." Scully said, turning to him. She had vengeance written all over her face but he didn't seem to see it. She backed up toward the sink, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible. "You know what," She continued, reaching for the faucet sprayer, "I'm not going to get mad." She casually grabbed the sprayer, blocking her actions with her body. "I'm going to get even." As she announced this, she pulled the sprayer from it's spot, flipped up the faucet handle, and squirted Mulder with a stream of water square in the chest.

As she'd hoped, she caught him slightly off-guard and he jumped. The water was cold on his bare skin and he practically leapt from his perch on the counter. She continued to spray him, this time in the face. He lunged toward her, attempting to grab the sprayer. She shrieked and turned from him. He grabbed her from behind and she started shrieking laughter. He tried to pull the sprayer from her hand, put her grip only tightened. Finally, he turned his hands inward, and began tickling her sides.

"No. . .Mulder. . . stop. . .I'm really. . .TICKLISH!!" She managed to say as she howled with laughter. He did eventually stop and turn her around in his arms. She looked up in his eyes, still clutching the sprayer in her fists. Her cheeks held the high rosy color from laughter and her eyes were a wild, playful blue. They sparkled with delight. He smiled at her sheer exuberance. He could remember a time (not so long ago) when this high-spirited side of her was never revealed. He loved the change Zoe had brought in her.

Mulder was pulled from his fantasy thoughts, by a cold spray of water in his face and Scully's shrill laughter. He looked deeply into her eyes as her laughter slowly died down. Since she was lacking heels, she was considerably shorter than him. He put one arm around her back, pulled her up closer, and put his lips to hers.

When she reopened her eyes after the kiss, she saw the expression on his face. His eyes twinkled with a familiar eagerness and anticipation. She pushed his chest away with a firm, "No." She held fast to her decision to clean. He did this every time she needed to clean. Usually she succumbed to his persuasion techniques. But, if she did it anymore, she'd never get the apartment clean.

He opened his mouth to protest, but she placed her index finger over his lips, silencing him. "Later." Was all she said. Scully twisted out of his embrace and walked out to the living room.

"Promise?" He called after her.

"Only if you help me." She returned, knowing this would be the only way to get him to change his cleaning habits.

"Fine." He surrendered, "But, *later* we do what *I* want to do."

Scully was rummaging in the hall cabinet while he stood in the living room and called/spoke to her. "What's that?"

He grinned mischievously just in time for her to see as she returned to the living room with dust rags in her hands.

She rolled her eyes at his expression, acting as though she dreaded his request. When in fact, she *almost* looked forward to it.

"Strip poker." He stated, grin widening.

Scully put her tongue in her cheek and just gave him a look that said, <Greeeaaat. . .>

On that note, Scully dropped an old dishtowel in one of his hands, and put a can of Endust in his other. "Your job," She said, "dusting."

He faked a sarcastic smile and turned to the TV. A layer of thick, gray dust covered the television, its stand, and just about every other object in the room.

Scully began to clean up the other things that lay around the room. Strewn books, toys, clothes, and other things that were out-of-place. She had brought the radio out into the living room to help pass the rather boring job of house-cleaning.

~~A Hydro-field cuts through my neighborhood

Somehow that always just made me feel good

I can put a spare bulb in my hand

And light up my yard

Late at night when the wires in the walls

Sing in tune with the din of the falls

I'm conducting it all while I sleep

To light this whole town

If you question what I would do

To get over and be with you

Lift you up over everything

To light up my room. . .

<Dusting may be an easy job, but it certainly isn't pleasant.> Mulder pondered as he wiped the television screen of its filth. <For one thing, it's gross. For another, I think I'm al. . .al. . .> Before he could finish the thought, an air blast of breath exploded out of his nose and mouth in a sneeze. <Allergic.> He sneezed again, and two more times. Each time, his breath sent puffs of dust into the air.

Scully chuckled behind him, obviously amused with his suffering.

"You think that's funny?" He asked.

Scully only nodded, still giggling to herself.

<So, this is my torture. My Dante's Inferno--my hell--will be dusting for all eternity. With--of course--someone laughing at me everytime I sneeze. Well, I'll show her.>

With that, Mulder used his dust rag like a towel in the showers from gym class. He twirled it around until it twisted up in a rope. Then, with a quick flick of his wrist, he tested its whipping ability in the air. He heard Scully switch the vacuum cleaner on, blotting out the sound of his makeshift whip. While she was bent over, vacuuming the sofa cushions, he turned to her. His childhood *trouble* grin spread across his face again. He approached her back while she was still bent over. Once again, he flicked his wrist back and then forward very quickly. The whip/dust-towel hit her ass with a loud SMACK! She jumped and spun defensively around to him. He was trying in vain to stifle a very amused laugh. She glared icily at him.

"Will you leave me alone?!"

He laughed a little at her apparent frustration. "Why should I?" He inquired, then as an after thought, "Freckles."

She stood up straight to him, fully displaying her very authoritative demeanor. "Don't call me that." She demanded.

"Freckles." He teased. Freckles had been the nickname he gave her shortly before he moved in. The summer sun brought out a tiny (cute, to him) splatter of freckles across her shoulders, cheeks, and nose. Every morning he would observe her plaster her freckles with concealer, covering them up. He liked her freckles, so he reminded her of them with the cute, albeit annoying pet-name.

She stepped up closer to him. Then, she reached up and blatantly squeezed his nose, adding a "Honk!" Along with it. She had found that this annoyed him as much as her pet-name annoyed her.

His bemused smile faded to a line as she started laughing. "You think you're funny, don't you, Freckles?"

She kept laughing and nodded slowly. "Honk!" She tried to say again. It came out as a mixture of the word and a snort. The sound of her snort made her laugh even harder, holding her stomach as she did so. She eventually fell back onto the sofa, involved in a real belly-laugh. Mulder just watched amusedly. It wasn't often at all that Scully laughed like this. He'd never really thought of *his Scully* to be so openly boisterous. But then, before the changes in their lives, there was a lot he hadn't known about her. Or she, him, for that matter. There was still a lot they didn't know.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

3:34 p.m.

Eventually, they did manage to get the apartment clean. In between the goofing around and pauses to kiss and just be near each other. They even got it clean before Zoe came home. She had spent the night before at a friend's house.

Zoe had made a lot of friends since she'd been adopted by Scully. Soon after she moved back in, Leslie Menikheim had found out about Zoe's high intelligence. However, she didn't know about the girl's psychic abilities. So, her intelligence was merely coined to one of those extraordinary happenings no one can explain. After many tests, mostly social rather than psychological, Zoe was placed into the eighth grade instead of kindergarten. Even though she thought and comprehended things beyond some college levels, she had barely any social skills. She had not received the same education from her parents (who were teaching her things the Conspiracy wanted her to know). She truly did not know how to interact with other children her own age, much less college or even high school students. Leslie decided to put her in the eighth grade, where she probably could be accepted easier than high school. That way, she could make some friends and allies, to help her in that transition to high school. Zoe's newest best friend, Piper Madsen, had accepted her first for who she is. Piper also happened to live a floor below Scully, so they became fast friends and good allies.

Anyway, it's a very good thing that Piper and Zoe were so loudly joking as they came down the hallway. Mulder and Scully were already playing Mulder's requested poker game when they walked through the door. If they hadn't unknowingly warned Mulder and Scully, they would've gotten an eye-full of something more than they bargained for.

"Hey, Dana." Zoe called as she and Piper bustled through Scully's door. Zoe hadn't really yet fallen into calling Dana 'Mommy', but sometimes she would.

Scully looked over her cards at Mulder, who shot her a queer glance. Mulder had almost been the one to lose his clothes in their little *game*. They had come very close, too. Mulder had scrambled back into his pants just before Zoe opened the door. And he wasn't wearing anything but those jeans.

Scully found herself having to hide her face behind her cards to keep from laughing. She tried very hard to keep a straight face, but Mulder wasn't helping. He kept eyeing his cards, then eyeing her in a very weird way. He wasn't facing the girls, so they couldn't see these. . .interesting actions.

"Hi, Zoe. Did you have fun?" Scully asked, looking behind Mulder to Zoe and Piper. Anything to keep her eyes off Mulder, to keep her from laughing.

Finally, Mulder stood from his seat (they sat on the floor at the coffee table) and walked to the kitchen. As he walked by Zoe, he picked her up in that sack-o-potatoes fashion and carried her all the way out to the kitchen.

"HEY!!" Zoe cried, demanding to be let down. She pounded her tiny fists on his back and wailed as loudly as she could.

He would've kept her like that, just to embarrass her, if Scully hadn't yelled, "Mulder, put her down."

He did let her down and she and Piper went in to her room. Before they disappeared though, Zoe turned to Dana and said softly, "Piper thinks Fox is HOT!" Then both girls disappeared into Zoe's room, giggling. Though Zoe was considerably younger than her friend, they seemed to get along perfectly. Zoe didn't share Piper's teenage lust either. So she took it upon herself to tease Piper at every given opportunity.

Scully still held her cards in her hand as Mulder sat back on the floor across from her. "I'm glad Zoe found such a good friend." She stated as Mulder took his turn.

She drew a card, and kept it. He look across the table at her, trying to read her expression. "I am, too." He said finally. "It's hard to believe a teenager could accept someone so different."

Scully nodded, studying her cards. "I don't think we can play *this* version of poker anymore. Not with children around."

Mulder smiled a little. How did he know she would say that? He watched Scully put down her cards and he looked at the faces. His grin widened as he spread his cards dramatically before her. "Royal Flush." He stated. "You lose."

"I guess I'll have to pay off my bet later on." She said provocatively as she stood and stretched. She then wandered into the kitchen and was pouring herself some water when the phone rang.

Since Mulder was closest to it, he picked up the cordless and pressed the TALK button. "Hello." He answered.

"Agent Mulder?" Inquired a familiar deep male voice.

"Yes, sir, it's me." He answered, immediately recognizing his boss's voice.

"Agent Mulder, I know this is your day off, but there's an emergency and your help is needed."

"Okay," Mulder replied, not quite understanding what this was about. "We'll be right down."

"Wait, Mulder." Skinner prompted. "Not Agent Scully, only you."

"Why?"

"I'll explain when you get down here."

Mulder furrowed his brows but consented, "Yes, sir. 'Bye."

With that, Mulder pressed the TALK button again, hanging up the phone.

"What was that all about?" Scully asked as she re-entered the living room and joined him on the couch."

"That was Skinner." Mulder replied, his voice hiding annoyed undertones. "He wants me to come down to the office for some emergency."

"What kind of emergency?" Scully queried while Mulder stood and headed for the bedroom.

"I don't know." He called as he disappeared into the bedroom.

Scully got up and followed him, expecting to have to change, too. "He didn't tell you what he needed us for?"

"Not us." He merely stated, buttoning up his work shirt.

"What do you mean, 'not us'?"

"Skinner said he only wants me, not both of us. He wouldn't tell me why."

Scully decided not to argue this. After all, it wasn't Mulder's fault Skinner only wanted him. Besides, she could tell Mulder was getting more and more angered with each passing minute. This was supposed to be *their* day. It didn't seem to be working out like that.

Mulder tied his tie, grabbed his shoes, and headed for the door. His unpacked briefcase was right underneath the coat rack. Scully followed him every step of the way, thoroughly disappointed with Skinner's interruption of their time.

<Oh, Skinner will pay.> Scully thought as she watched Mulder's sullen face while he pulled on his shoes.

Mulder stood and tried to fake a smile. He bent down and brought Scully's face up to his. He kissed her long enough to last for a couple of hours. She reached up and hugged him before he opened the door. "See you later, Freckles." He said as he stepped out in the hall.

Before he stepped too far away, she reached up and pinched his nose again. "Honk." She said softly.

"I love you." He told her as he walked down the hall.

"Love you, too." She called as he neared the elevator.

As soon as the elevator doors had shut behind him, she went back inside and shut the door. Why had him going to work alone affected her like that? Perhaps it was because it was *very* unusual for Skinner to want only one of them. After all, they were a team. Maybe it was also some ridiculous form of separation anxiety. Since he had moved in, they had not spent a single night apart. Most of his stuff was even in Scully's apartment. With a bond growing so strong every day, separation was becoming hell. And with their very dangerous job, and Mulder's risks, any day could be their last together. Scully decided to not think about this subject anymore and settled down on the couch for some TV.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

FBI Headquarters--J. Edgar Hoover Building

4:23 p.m.

The news struck him like a lead weight. The *emergency* Skinner had called him down for was a terrorist bust/investigation that another agent needed help with.

"What?" Mulder asked, almost as if he didn't understand what he was hearing. "Sir, I really don't think this was a valid emergency for pulling me off duty."

"Agent Mulder," Skinner pressed, "Lives could be at stake here."

<Oh, great. The 'Lives at Stake' song and dance again.>

"A bomb threat from some of the world's most wanted terrorists has been discovered, man-power is needed in California."

"If man-power is needed, why can't Scully come?"

"There is only room for one more man on the team. It's a small operation in the city." Skinner explained coolly.

Mulder sighed in surrender and leaned back in his chair. "So, who is the agent heading this operation?"

Skinner nodded toward the door as an all-too-familiar figure entered the door way. It was a woman's figure, considerably taller than Scully. She had shoulder-length brunette hair and piercing brown-gray eyes. Her thin lips were pursed in a bitter line as she entered the room, but they slightly turned to a smile when she saw Mulder. She had known Mulder for a long time. There was much between the two of them, that no one knew.

"Agent Fowley will be heading the investigation." Skinner explained as Diana Fowley took the seat next to Mulder's.

Mulder looked at her for a second longer before his gaze lifted back to Skinner. "Why me? I'm not assigned to the violent crimes division anymore."

"No, you're not." Skinner answered. "But you and Agent Scully aren't currently working on a case and your expertise and background would be a benefit to the case."

Finally, Diana leaned forward and spoke, "I could really use your help on this." She persuaded.

Her words hit Mulder's guts like stone. For some reason, she could convince him of things very easily. Perhaps it was the guilt he felt over their history. He sighed and looked at both of them. "When do we leave?"

"We have a flight scheduled for seven-thirty." Diana answered promptly.

"Not wasting any time, are we?" He asked, mostly to himself.

"The city of Sacramento has received multiple bomb threats to a federal building. The bombing is said to begin tomorrow." Diana explained in her all-knowing way.

Mulder didn't say anything in return. This didn't really make him angry. He really, truly didn't want to go to Sacramento, but he just couldn't turn Diana down. The only thing that really hurt him was that he was not going to be able to spend another night with Scully before he left.

Skinner excused him and he headed to the garage. Just before he got to his car, he heard a feminine voice beckon him. He looked behind and saw Diana rushing up to talk to him.

"I'm really glad you are helping me out with this. I could use your expertise." She told him genuinely.

He nodded glumly and climbed into his car. Right now, the only person on his mind was Scully.

Half-way *home* he decided to warn her ahead of time. He picked up his cell phone and hit the speed-dial.

"Hello." Answered Scully's voice. After the *certain* uncomfortable feeling in Skinner's office, her voice was like an angel's.

"Hey Freckles." He replied, trying to lighten the mood.

He heard her faintly snicker into the phone and could picture sitting at home on the couch, shaking her head. "Don't call me that." She said, not really meaning it.

"Ah, there's something I gotta tell you." He began. "The emergency was a bomb threat to a federal building in Sacramento. Skinner only has room for one more agent on the team. And I just so happen to be it."

Silence was all that registered on the other end of the line.

"Scully?"

"Yeah. Well, I guess, if there was no way to get out of it. . ." She answered, making it sound better than it was.

"Yeah." Was all he could think to say. He couldn't tell her *who* was heading the operation, or that he probably *could* get out of it, but couldn't let that person down.

"'Bye." She said. Before he could say another word, she had hung up and left him with a dial tone. He turned off the cell phone and focused his attention on the road home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Motel 6 (We'll leave the light on for ya) :-)

10:01 p.m.

Although it was late, Mulder just couldn't sleep. He thought at first it was probably jet-lag, but it wasn't. He had gotten so used to Scully sleeping with him, or in the room next to him, it had spoiled him. Now sleep just wouldn't claim him. That was beside the fact that he felt an immense guilt for the abruptness of his leave. And the fact that he had *lied* about not getting out of this.

He had decided to watch a little TV. Usually hotel televisions got good pornography. But truthfully, he wasn't interested. Since his life had been consumed by love, he didn't *need* it. And, Scully didn't allow it in her apartment. Genius or not, it wasn't something Zoe should happen upon.

While flicking channels for something interesting, he was surprised by a sudden rapping on his door. Almost thankful for the distraction, he hurried to answer it. It was Diana.

"Hey." He greeted casually.

"Hi, Fox." He cringed, actually CRINGED when she used his first name. Diana had been away (who knows where) since he and Scully had gone public. No one but Scully had used his first name (only during select times) since then. It felt *weird* coming from her.

"Do you need something?" <Do you need something? Of all stupid things to say. . .>

"No. Can I come in?" She asked of him kindly.

He stepped out of the doorway to allow her clearance. Once she'd stepped in, he didn't say anything, for fear of putting his foot in his mouth again.

Luckily, she started the conversation herself. "I just can't thank you enough for helping me with this."

<Huh?> "Just doing my job." He said, and winced at that. <Open mouth, insert foot.>

Fowley stepped closer to him. "I've missed you Fox. I wish. . . I wish things could be the way they used to."

He looked at her, trying to be casual, knowing exactly what she meant. He was trying to think of how to respond when she took his hand. She kissed it gently and squeezed it before letting it drop back to his side.

"I should go." She finally said and turned to leave. Just before she stepped out, she said, "Things could go back, you know."

That left him dumbfounded. His feelings were ripping him apart inside. Suddenly, he was tired and finally sleep took him away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

8:02 a.m.

He didn't know how she did it, but Diana managed to convince him to drive the both of them to the threatened building. Apparently, she hadn't gotten much sleep last night either. She fell asleep somewhere down the freeway.

This gave him time to sort out his thoughts, about Scully and Diana. He turned up the radio and heard an old song for the first time in ages:

~~Desperado, why don't you come to your senses. . .

You've been out ridin fences, for so long now

Oh you a hard one

I know that you got your reasons

These things that are pleasin you

will hurt you somehow

Don't you draw the Queen of Diamonds, boy

she'll beat you if she's able

The Queen of Hearts is always your best bet

Now it seems to me some fine things

have been laid upon your table

But you only want the ones

that you can't get. . .

<Oh, too true.> By now, Mulder had begun to listen to the words more carefully, they melted into his soul, and seemed to answer his questions perfectly.

. . .Desperado,

Oh, you ain't gettin no younger

Your pain and your hunger

they're drivin you home

Freedom, O freedom

well that's just some people talkin

Your prison is walkin,

this world all alone

Don't your feet get cold in the wintertime

The sky won't snow and the sun won't shine

It's hard to tell the nighttime

from the day

Losing all your highs and lows

Ain't it funny how the feeling goes away

Desperado, why don't you come to your senses

Come down from your fences

Open the gate

It may be rainin

but there's a rainbow above you

You better let somebody love you

(Let somebody love you)

You better let somebody love you,

before it's too late~~

<Whoa. That pretty much sums it up. I've got to tell Scully.>

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

INTERLUDE: The few days Mulder spent in Sacramento were mostly forgotten by the time he got back to DC. The bomb-threats were fake, this time. The terrorists, mere teenagers, had been apprehended and taken into custody. Mulder had more *important* matters to deal with. The stupid escapade Skinner had sent him on, was at the bottom of his list of *things to do*.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scully's Residence

7:04 p.m.

Scully was truly at a loss as to what to do. It wouldn't be easy to approach Mulder about this. Not easy at all.

Just a few hours ago, while finishing up some laundry, Scully had happened upon something she was probably never intended to find. At first, it seemed innocent, an old wedding band in Mulder's pants pocket. It had tumbled from its hiding place when she picked the pants up to throw into the washing machine. She'd picked it up, not really knowing what it was at first. After she did figure out what it was, a man's wedding ring, she shrugged it off and pocketed it, for later inspection.

That later inspection and the hypothetical thoughts did come. She sat on the couch, studying the band, and thinking of its origins. Mulder had gone out, saying something about "The three stooges (Langly, Frohike, and Byers)" and "Star Wars: The Phantom Menace". Star Wars wasn't exactly an appealing movie to Scully. And she would feel awkward being with Mulder and his *buddies*. Especially knowing about Frohike's sad obsession with her. She let them off alone. It was girl's night in. Just her and Zoe.

Those plans for Zoe and her had been interrupted when she found the ring though. Her most accepted theory for now was that Mulder found it. Or maybe, it was one of those weird relics he had with the X-files. Deep in the cold reaches of her mind, she heard a voice saying, <It's from the past, his past. The past *you* don't know about.>

She needed to approach him about it, he hadn't seen her with it. But, she didn't know when, or how.

"What's that?" Zoe inquired, entering the room with an apple in one hand, and a juice-box in the other. Scully didn't know why she always asked questions of people, when she could find out the *true answers* by reading their minds.

"A wedding band." Scully answered, half distracted. She held the ring up to eye-level, moving it around and letting the light glint off it.

"Whose?"

"I don't know." Scully answered as honestly as she would allow her mind to accept.

"You found it in Fox's pocket. . ."

"Yeah." Still inspecting and thinking about the ring.

"You think it's his."

This caught all of Scully's attention. "No, I don't."

"You do, kind of." Zoe replied, nodding. "There's this little seed of doubt in your mind."

"Fox has never been married." Scully answered, almost with a tone of I'm-right-and- you're-wrong, kid.

Zoe merely shrugged and left Dana with her thoughts.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

FBI Headquarters-- J. Edgar Hoover Building

2:14 p.m.

Things had pretty much returned to normal a week after Mulder returned from Sacramento. Diana had disappeared again, and he and Scully were settling in their lives again. Mulder had done major amounts of thinking regarding his and Scully's lives. He had mostly thought since he heard that old Eagle's song on the radio.

Diana was the absolute last person he expected to see walk into their office that Wednesday afternoon. She'd entered silently, like a cat (or a thief). He didn't even know she was there until she was right beside his desk.

She looked at him in an almost awkward way. "Fox." She began. "I need you to fill out these post-op reports." She finished, laying a short stack of papers in front of him.

"Okay." He responded, half-distracted.

Without being offered, she sat in the seat by the wall near his desk. "How have you been?" She inquired, trying to make casual conversation. She wasn't really sure how to get to her point. It would come to her as she went along.

He looked up at her from his paperwork, studying her expression. "Fine." He answered blandly.

"Fox, I wish you wouldn't look at me like that."

He again diverted his attention to her. "Like what?"

"Like an enemy or a criminal. Or even any other agent in this building. I'm not an enemy, Fox."

"I'm a psychologist, Diana. I look at everyone like that." He explained, rising from his seat and to the filing cabinets.

"You don't look at *her* like that." She said in an almost pouting, teenager's voice.

He turned slowly from the cabinet and looked her in the eyes. He cocked his head a little, eyes burning green. His untrusting look. "Is that what this is about?"

"What?" She asked, like she didn't understand.

"The whole reason you even wanted me on that case. Scully and I."

She didn't lie to him, for a change. But she did stand up and face him. "Do you love her?"

His glare softened a little at the mention of *love*. "More than you'll ever know."

"Do you love her, like you loved me?"

He shook his head, pulling his gaze from hers. Answering this question would be tough. He couldn't bear to hurt Diana again, but he wouldn't lie. "I would die for her."

It should have been left at that. Diana just wouldn't drop it. She had to press him further. "Would you, for me?"

This time, he couldn't answer. Instead, he pushed past her, carrying a report for Skinner.

"Fox," She called after him, hurrying behind him in the hall. "Fox, stop."

His heart and mind said GO, but he stopped for an unknown reason. He turned to her.

She looked once more into his eyes. Then, she reached into her pocket and pulled out the ring that went with his. "I still love you, Fox." She confessed. "I always will."

She pressed closer to him and kissed him possessively on the lips. Just as the elevator doors slid open. Mulder pulled away and looked at the elevator. There, stood a completely stunned Scully. She had seen everything.

Scully stepped slowly out of the elevator. At first, she just stood in the hall, shaking her head, unbelieving. Soon enough, a rage filled her. She had seen Mulder and that bitch lip-locked. She stormed past Mulder and the slut and into the office. She felt like punching something. Maybe Diana, maybe Mulder. Hot rage-filled tears began to prick up beneath her eyelids. But she would not cry.

Mulder followed her quickly into the office, hoping to reconcile this. When he got there, Scully was throwing together her things, planning on leaving. "Scully." He began, hoping the right words would come to him.

"No, Mulder. I don't want to hear your excuses." She picked up her loaded briefcase and headed for the door, trying to leave here before she broke down.

"Scully, it's not what you think."

"I know what I saw. It's exactly what I think. I don't know what went on between you two, but obviously it hasn't changed. It makes me wonder what *happened* in California."

Mulder just shook his head, not knowing what to say. He grabbed her shoulder, trying to calm her. She shook off his hand.

"I came down here to ask you about the wedding ring in your pocket. Then, I see you kissing Diana Fowley! And it's not just this time, oh no. Every time I see you together it kills me." Her voice softened on the last sentence. The tears she could no longer hold back streamed down her face.

"You found the ring?"

"Yeah. What's the deal with this ring? Please tell me you just found it." She said, pulling the ring from her pocket.

". . ."

"Mulder. Mulder, you' re hiding something from me. Where is this wedding band from?"

Mulder dropped his eyes from her gaze and looked at his feet. The secret he had kept all these years had finally come into play. The inevitable had happened. This wasn't going to be easy. "I was married." He confessed in a voice barely above a whisper.

Scully's jaw dropped a bit. She should listen to her deep inner voices more often. "To Diana?"

Mulder nodded slowly, letting his eyes rise to her face once more. Her clear expression of utter disbelief and harsh reality was almost jarring to him.

"Why didn't you ever tell me?" She asked accusingly.

"I guess you wouldn't accept 'It never came up in conversation.'" He replied, trying--unsuccessfully--to lighten the tension.

His crack only made her more angry. "You lied to me." She remarked coldly.

"It wasn't a lie. . ." He tried.

She didn't say anything else, but her harsh glare told him enough.

The tension in the room snapped when she stormed out. Stupidly, he let her go.

The only thing Scully could think to do was leave. The moment she saw Mulder and Diana together, she freaked. Just freaked. She knew Skinner would have her ass if he found out the personal reason she fled for a half day. There was no way she could handle this. If she stayed in the office, she would have Mulder hovering over her, trying to make things right. He was about the last person she really wanted to see--much less speak to--at this time. She needed time. Time to think about what to do, how she would ultimately react to this.

<Maybe I overreacted.> One of her voices told her. After all, she didn't let Mulder explain. But, like she had told him, she didn't want to hear his excuses. He had never really explained anything about Diana. Recently, every time something terribly bad--relating to the conspiracy--happened, he ran to Diana. She never understood it, until now. The secret marriage, was really what upset her the most. Mulder had chided her again and again over the years about being totally honest and trustworthy with each other. Yet he had kept this *huge* secret from her. How was she supposed to react to this?

<No. I didn't overreact. He *told* me he didn't trust her. He always seems to act like he does. Now I know who he *really* loves.>

Scully reached her car and sped toward home. She would deal with Skinner and work tomorrow. All the way home, her mind raced over everything this incident meant, over everything that could occur because of it. She managed to keep herself calm driving down the road, to keep her emotions in touch well enough to see and drive straight.

However, as soon as she reached her apartment building, she broke. She didn't even try to get out of the car. Scully just hunched over the steering wheel and let her tears fall unrequited. She didn't think she'd cried over anything so hard in her life. Not Emily, not Melissa, no other boyfriends, or even her own father. As the tears rolled down her cheeks, she pictured the happier times they'd had together. Swimming at the YMCA, hitting baseballs together at the batting cages. That had been a night before they got really involved. A night she would never forget. These memories only made her cry harder.

After awhile, Scully pulled herself out of the car. She left everything in the car as she stumbled to the entrance of the building. She kept her eyes downcast, hoping neighbors and passerby's wouldn't bother her. They noticed her, but failed to mention anything about it. Her face was tear-streaked and red from crying. Her eyes were puffy and moist. Every so often a leftover tear would trail a new path down her cheek. She suffered from a familiar, although distressing and horrible condition; a broken heart.

Scully wandered glumly up to her apartment, unlocked the door, and stepped in. Zoe--who had been sitting on the sofa watching television--whirled around to see this early *intruder*.

"Dana, what are you doing home so early?" She asked worriedly.

Scully didn't answer, she just shook her head slowly and joined her daughter on the couch. Zoe took a few minutes to analyze what had happened, without having to question Dana. She was in a serious amount of pain. Zoe just watched Dana, not knowing what to say to comfort her. She would have to *hear* Fox's side of this before making any sort of judgment.

Scully slowly scanned the room behind watery eyes. She began with Zoe, deep in thought on comforting advice. Her sad gaze shifted to the coffee table. A stack of cards lay near one corner, still there from Mulder's and hers interrupted game. Those had been happier times. But, happier because she hadn't known about Diana? How far did Mulder and Diana really go? Scully was still totally in the dark on the terms of Mulder's marriage. There were so many details she wanted to know. Mostly, how did they break up and did he still love her. This was so much more complicated than it seemed at the surface. Scully and Mulder had been together under a lie. She felt as though he completely betrayed her trust, and ruined her love.

As Scully thought about this more and more, her depression increased. Mulder had truly betrayed her, done something she would never dream he would do. Scully bit her lip to try and hold back the new flood of tears. Their force was greater than her emotional barrier. She buried her face in her hands and cried.

Zoe saw her begin to sob again and scooted over closer to her. She put her arm around her mother's back and laid her head there. This was all she could think of to show Dana her support.

After a while, Scully stopped sobbing. She didn't want to talk about what had happened at all. So, Zoe left her with her thoughts once more. She had learned that Scully could best solve things on her own. Only once in a while did she need help. With no experience in break-ups, Zoe was absolutely NOT the person to provide that help.

Scully got up and decided to play some music to distract her. She put in the first CD she grabbed, an Eagle's one. She also got some ice cream from the freezer. It wasn't the non-fat tofutti-rice-dreamsicles she usually ate either, it was real ice cream. Chocolate. At heart, Scully was a real choco-holic, even though she was a doctor and should know better. She needed comfort food, a distraction.

~~Baby there you stand

With your little head down in your hand

Oh my God, I can't believe

It's happening again

Your baby's gone

And you're all alone

And it looks like the end

You're back out on the street

And you're tryin to remember (ohh)

How you started over

You don't if you can

You don't care much for a stranger's touch

but you can't hold your man

Never thought you'd be alone

this far down the line

I know what's been on your mind

You're afraid it's all been wasted time~~

<Oh great, just make me feel worse.> She thought. <Has it been wasted time? We have lived under a lie. I don't know if I can forgive him for that. Maybe I should just try to start over.>

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

St. John's Church

Alexandria, Virginia

The next morning

Scully didn't get a wink of sleep that night. She had been too busy doing some heavy thinking about everything. Honestly, she didn't know who to turn to. Her mother *could* provide advice, but it really wouldn't be the kind she needed. After a while, Scully decided to go to Confessional the next morning. She didn't *really* have a sin to confess, but she did need someone to talk to. Preferably another adult.

"Forgive me Father for I have sinned." She said to the intricate screening separating the Father's face from her own. "It has been many weeks since my last confession."

"Do you have a sin to confess?" Inquired a deep but all together understanding voice.

"Not exactly, but I do need someone to talk to. Very much."

"Tell me what has happened."

"Father, I really don't know what to do. Recently I became very involved with a man very close to me. I came upon him yesterday kissing another woman. Later, I found out he was once married to her. We've known each other for six years and he never once mentioned another woman. I feel like he has lied to me and betrayed my trust."

"You feel he has wronged you for not mentioning this past affair?"

"Yes, Father. Ever since we met he has agonizingly pushed me to be totally honest and open with him, and he betrayed my honesty."

"Did you ask him why he did not tell you?"

"No."

"Perhaps you should."

"Father, ever since I began work on the X-files, my life has been about trust. Mulder always told me I was the only person he could trust. This other woman also seems to be very close to his past. I don't trust her. He never tells me why he trusts her so, or anything relating to her. If I can't trust him in this dangerous life, there is no reason I should stay. I'm considering moving and changing jobs."

Scully heard an audible sigh from behind the screen. "Dana, do you love him?"

This time, it was Scully's turn to pause. She frowned a bit as she really listened to everything she had just said. Her voice cracked to just above a whisper when she spoke again, and a tear rolled down her cheek. "With all my heart."

"How precious is this love to you?"

Scully continued to whisper. It was as if the Father's question stole away all her strength. "It's my whole world."

"True love is one of the most important things in the world. I'd hate to see it lost because of this. If you two love each other as much as I have concluded, you can get through this. All you need to do is talk to him. You found out the truth about his past and it hurt you. In your pain, you neglected to find out *why*. Get his answers, I'm sure it will clear from there."

Scully nodded slowly as another tear of gratitude rolled down her cheek. "Thank you, Father." She whispered.

With that, she left the church with a new purpose of actually talking to Mulder. She decided to go to the office as it was a week day and that is where he would be.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

FBI Headquarters--J. Edgar Hoover Building

1:23

Mulder had not slept the previous night either. He was too busy trying to think of how to reconcile this with Scully. He had called her twice and apologized repeatedly to her answering machine. She would not talk to him, and would not take his calls. How was he supposed to make things right?

"Fox," Beckoned a voice he really did not want to hear right now.

He was sitting on a bench in the foyer outside the building. He had been chewing on sunflower seeds and thinking. The woman who had called to him was Diana. Though she was the cause for most of his problems, he still could not turn her away when he was in so much need of comfort.

"Fox, are you okay?" She questioned genuinely as she got nearer to him.

He looked up at her face without a word. He did not want her to go away, she could provide some talk. "Yeah, I guess." He lied.

She reached down and took his hand.

"Diana, I don't know what to do. She won't even talk to me."

Diana sat down beside him, still holding his hand. It was almost funny to her that *this* was working with her plan. True, she did not know Scully would be in that elevator, but it was all the better for her. Now to lure Mulder in, "Fox, maybe it's because she doesn't want to be with you. Maybe she's not the one for you." Diana told him carefully.

Mulder looked at her untrusting again. <What?!> His mind screamed. Suddenly he was understanding this. He opened his mouth to shoot Diana down when he felt a very familiar presence in front of him. He changed his gaze from Diana to the person before him.

Scully.

She had an expression of mixed emotion. Anger, disbelief, sadness, and jealousy to name a few. She had her brows furrowed as if trying to figure out the obvious. "I can't believe you Mulder." She muttered only loudly enough for him to understand. That was when her expression changed to a mask of coolness. "I'm glad to see you two are making out okay."

Before he could even stand she had marched off down the sidewalk. He did get up and follow her this time.

Scully kept her composure as she turned the sidewalk corner, then she let her emotions go. Tears of rage streamed down both cheeks and she made no attempt to hide them or wipe them away. <The nerve.> She thought. <He falls back into the arms of the cause.>

She heard footsteps behind her and chose to ignore them and keep walking. She knew they were Mulder's, come to explain. She also knew she should listen to him this time, but her stubbornness made her keep going.

"Scully. . ." He called from behind her.

"I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT, MULDER!!" She shouted at him, now turning. "I know what I saw. I can't believe you would STILL go back to her!!"

This time, she definitely did not let him talk, she just kept storming down the street.

~~~~

Scully found herself walking toward the nearest park. She had not planned on it, she had just headed there. She ended up walking down to the park where she and Mulder had happened upon Zoe. This immediately brought back past memories of happier times.

She did not turn away from those memories either, she faced them full-frontal, letting them sweep her away. She remembered how Zoe and Fox had come to see her after her mysterious second *abduction*. Mulder had gotten the adoption papers approved by Leslie Menikheim. All three of them had sat on Scully's hospital and cried into each other's arms. They had cried of happiness.

As Scully remembered these things, the tears began to return to her. She also thought about how she--once again--did not let Mulder explain. Her stature would not let her return to the office, begging for forgiveness. Dana finally put her hand to her forehead and hunched over sobbing. She did not know why she broke there, no one would come to comfort her. Or so she thought.

Suddenly, from within the sounds of her cries, came a vaguely familiar voice: "Dana?" The voice asked. It was a male voice, sweet and tender, rimmed with long-lost lust.

Scully consequently stopped crying and looked towards him. Her searching gaze was met by his soft brown eyes. In that instant, he looked like an angel to her. But angel he was not. Scully passed a quick hand down her face, hoping that the tear streaks would magically be wiped away.

"Dana, are you all right?" The kind voice asked of her again. The man sat down beside her as she again met his eyes.

"Danny?" She asked him, making sure it was really him.

"Yeah, it's me. Are you okay?"

"I-I'm fine. Danny, I haven't seen you in. . ." Scully drifted off, trying to remember the last time they had met.

"Over ten years." He finished for her, with a warm smile.

"How? How did you find me here?" She asked genuinely, tears now a thing of the past.

"I didn't. I saw a very pretty woman sitting here crying and I came to see what was wrong. I recognized your hair color."

All Scully could do was form her lips into an 'O'. This was one of the best small world stories ever. Danny Santos had been Scully's old boyfriend in college. They had been very in love, or lust. Inseparable, that is, until Danny transferred to a college in California. This reunion was more than a 'fancy meeting you here' thing, Dana really needed the support right now. Danny might be just the one to give it.

"So, "Danny said, breaking through Scully's thoughts. "Why were you over here crying?"

Scully sighed shifted her gaze from his eyes. "Trouble with my boyfriend. It's a long story."

Not at all deterred by her *boyfriend* remark, he spoke again. "I've got time." He said, glancing at his watch. "What do you say I walk you over to a coffee house I know of, and you can tell me the whole story?"

Scully thought about it for a brief second and nodded.

~~~~~~~

Once at the modern-style coffee house and seated at a more private corner table, Scully began to tell Danny the whole story of her and Mulder. When she was finished, Danny sat back and took a deep breath.

"So this guy always told you to be honest to him, but then never mentioned his ex-wife?"

"Yes."

"Sounds like a real loser." Danny mumbled under his breath.

Scully heard it, and it actually hurt her. Everyone who met Mulder said the same thing. If only they could know the true side of the man and the pain he had endured. . .

"What are you going to do?" Danny asked finally. "Are you going to break up?"

*Break up* These were painful words to Scully. If she and Mulder did break up, it would ruin everything they had together. All the years of a strong bond and partnership, down the porcelain pee-hole. Deep down, she loved him too much to end it so quickly. She just needed a break, or a change.

"No. I don't think we'll break it off so quickly. But, I do need a change."

Danny remained silent and looked once more at his watch. He whistled as if he was surprised and rose from his seat. "I do have to go now." He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a business card. "If you need anything, give me a call."

Scully took the card graciously, happy to have a friend on her side.

Just before he turned to leave, Danny made one last request. "Hey, why don't you and I go out tonight? It could be that much needed break for you."

Scully stood as well. "I don't know. . ."

"Come on," He persuaded, "it'll be completely platonic, I promise."

She thought for another second, debating internally. "I guess I could use the distraction."

"Great," Danny replied, "I'll pick you up around. . .seven o'clock."

"Wait!" Scully grabbed his shoulder before he could leave. She handed him a slip of written-on napkin. "Here's my address. I don't live far from here, up in Georgetown."

Danny nodded and walked away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

At the same time Scully was making a date with the past, Mulder was destroying his. Instead of trying to follow Scully, he turned back to Diana. SHE was the cause of all of this. He did not know if she had planned on Scully seeing them kissing or not, but it all worked in HER benefit. He approached Diana, the fire building in his emotions. She attempted to look sorry and innocent, but it did not work.

"Why do you do this to me?" He asked her harshly.

"Do what?" She returned, assuming the 'innocent bystander' role.

"I'm starting to understand all of this now. This is all part of your plan to break Scully and I up. The kiss, the comfort. It's all in betrayal. And don't tell me you love me, because if you did, you'd let me be happy."

When he was finished his speech, Diana frowned. "Fox, I DO still love you. I want things to go back. I know there's still love between us, I can feel it. . ."

All he could do was shake his head. No, there was no love left there. He looked her fiercely into her eyes and told her. "I don't love you anymore. I've moved on."

She shook her head in return, refusing to accept it. "I love you, Fox. Why do hurt me so?"

He turned away, trying to calm himself. But these words poured lighter fluid onto his raging fire. "Why do I hurt YOU?!!" He exploded in a sarcastic laugh. "WHY DO YOU HURT ME?!" He shouted angrily. At this point, he would have hit her if she was not a woman.

He saw the madness and fear rising on Diana's face and continued:

"Your obsession with me is sick, Diana, it's sick. WE ended a long time ago. I've moved on. Why can't you do the same?"

By now, tears had begun to pour down her face. They deflected off him like an anti-Diana shield was protecting him.

"I don't love you Diana. Move on. LEAVE ME ALONE!!" He yelled in one final fit of rage.

She did not say a word, she just fled off, out of his life forever.

He turned back to go into the building, an unpleasant feeling of victory filling him. Suddenly, he heard a deep, very irritated voice beckon him.

"Agent Mulder!"

He looked up and saw his superior glaring dangerously at him. <Oh shit!> He thought quickly. <Now I'm gonna get burned.>

"I want to see you in my office, right now!" He growled.

Mulder entered his office solemnly, after going to retrieve his jacket. Skinner had already been in there, he was sitting behind his large wood desk. Mulder felt very much like a kid who had gotten in trouble with his principal. Skinner looked up, obviously still very steamed, when Mulder entered.

"Take a seat Agent." He commanded coolly.

Mulder sat down, never letting his gaze fall from Skinner.

Skinner looked at him for a moment, keeping his frighteningly cool composure. "What the hell has been going on here lately?"

Mulder did not answer. He knew Skinner was not finished yet.

"First, I found out Agent Scully just fled out of here yesterday for no reason. She has barely been working today. Then, I see you raving at Agent Fowley until she runs off. Now either you've seriously been having a problem with women, or something else is going on."

"It's personal, Sir."

"I don't care. If it was just one of you involved, it wouldn't matter. Since three of my best agents are running around in a soap opera, I would like to know what's going on." Skinner now stood up and walked around to the front of his desk. There he leaned against it to appear more intimidating to a still sitting Mulder.

"You are aware of Agent Scully's and my. . .relationship, right?" Mulder began, not quite sure of how to word it.

"Yes." Skinner answered, he knew precisely what Mulder was talking about. "You two went public about a month or two ago."

Mulder nodded and continued, "We recently had a falling-out due to a secret from my past regarding my ex-wife."

"Agent Fowley?"

"Yes." Before he went on, Mulder's tone actually softened a bit and he let his gaze fall to the floor. "I never told Scully about my marriage, I figured it would be better if she never knew. Then, Diana decided she wanted to be with me again, and she confronted me in my office. It ended with Scully seeing Diana kissing me. She got mad, couldn't handle it, and left. She wouldn't let me explain and I didn't follow her." Mulder looked back up from his story at Skinner, who was awaiting the rest. "Today, I was waiting outside for Scully when Diana again approached me. She was trying to comfort me. I didn't know then that she was just trying to break us up. Scully saw her with me and got even madder, I haven't seen her since. I realized what Diana had been doing and. . .blew up at her."

Skinner had positioned one hand under his chin in the famous 'Thinker' pose. Mulder was just waiting for him to tell him to keep personal issues at home, but he did not. "Mulder," He said, "I'm talking to you, not as your superior, but as your friend. You and Scully have something special. Beyond partners, beyond lovers, something else. I would hate to see that broken up. No matter what she does, you have got to talk to her. You've got to get your head out of your ass and make things right."

Mulder listened to Skinner's words, they rang well with him. His mind once again drifted back to that song, <Come down from your fences.> It was time to talk.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scully eventually returned to the office. The rest of the day was awkward and deafeningly silent. Mulder would inconspicuously look up from his paperwork and glance at Scully. Every time her eyes would shift, he would look back down, hoping she would not notice him staring at her. It felt as if they were back at ground-zero, only worse. Rather than hiding from the enormous amount of sexual tension, they did not speak at all. The tension in the room was the same, but different. It sizzled in the room like lightning.

At five o'clock, Scully got up and left, without a single good-bye to Mulder. It still hurt him when she would not even meet his gaze. He could tell--without a doubt--that she was still very angry with him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scully's Residence

6:45 p.m.

As seven o'clock began to roll around, Scully was preparing for her *date*. She came out of her bedroom in a simple black dress. She had on her little diamond earrings and matching bracelet. Zoe had not been happy at all with her decision. After all, Scully had never dressed up for Mulder.

"Mommy, why are you doing this?" Zoe asked, concerned.

"Because, Zoe, I need a break." She replied, pulling on her shoes.

"Why can't you just talk to Fox?"

"I can't." Scully replied. <Why is she doing this to me?> "I just can't."

Zoe stood up from her seat on the couch. Her lips were trembling and tears were filling her eyes. "Why do you have to be so stubborn?" She half yelled as she ran into her room.

<Oh, she's good at these guilt trips.> "Zoe," Scully called after her.

She found the girl laying face down on her bed, crying. Scully sat on the edge of the bed and began stroking her hair. "Zoe, don't cry. I know you miss Fox. He and I just need some time apart."

"No, you just need to talk."

"This is all really hell on you, isn't it?" Scully inquired, mostly to herself. She rubbed the girl's back, trying to calm her.

"You're thinking about moving." Zoe stated glumly. "I don't wanna move."

Scully shook her head, there was no way she could stop this from hurting her daughter. Since Zoe could read her mind, she would know every deep inner thought Scully had. Moving away was one of them. "Zoe," She sighed, "We'll talk about this when I get back. Piper should be here any minute. I'll be back at eight-thirty. Now, give me a kiss."

Zoe sat up, a frown still on her face, and let Scully kiss her gently on the forehead.

Just as Scully left Zoe's room, there was a knock at the door. Scully smiled and answered it. It was just who she'd thought it would be, Danny. He was dressed in a handsome Armani suit. He cleaned up very well.

"Shall we go?" He asked politely as Scully grabbed her evening bag.

She nodded. "See you later, Kiddo!" She called as they stepped out into the hallway.

"Kiddo?" Danny asked as they walked down the hall. "You have a kid?"

"Yeah, a five-year-old daughter."

"Your boyfriend's?"

Scully took a mild offense at his prying. "No, if you must know, she's adopted."

Noting her offense, he ended it there. As they stepped out into the bitter November evening air, their breaths puffed out before them. Danny was ready for a date he hoped would end better than she anticipated. In other words, he wanted to get lucky.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tangiers Bar and Pub

7:45 p.m.

Danny took Scully to a restaurant he had known about through a friend. The name described the place well. Tangiers, an exotic-style bar and pub. They were famous for their Chesapeake Bay blue crab dishes. The atmosphere inside the restaurant was very pub-like. It was dimly lit, with soft southern rock music playing in the background. There was old paraphernalia tacked to the walls. Ancient collectibles like Cal Ripken Senior's glove, and the bumper from a '64 Ford Mustang. The tables were well-worn heavy wood with dark red booth seats. The place had an almost comforting smell of all-American food, alcohol, and memories. It was a good place for folks feeling down. Even better then the bar Edward Jerse had taken Scully to.

Danny had made reservations for them and they got a table right away. They were seated at a booth in the corner. Scully ordered the Crab Imperial, a crab-meat and breading concoction (like a fancy crab cake) in a foil dish. Danny ordered the Filet Mignon and a bottle of fine Dom Perignon to compliment their meal.

"What do YOU do for a living?" She asked, clearly surprised with his orders of expensive foods.

"I'm the Executive of my own company. Have you heard of DSIndustries?" He asked, trying not to sound conceited.

"Yeah," Scully replied, "you guys make the new computers, don't you?"

"We make computers, VCR's, radios, stereos, just about anything electronic. Always wondered what the DS in DSI stood for?"

Scully nodded, playing along.

"Hello, my name is Danny Santos, the DS in DSI." He put out his hand in a playful remark at a first meeting.

She shook it, smiling at his wit. "I never would've thought." She said, "Danny Santos, party-all-night, sleep-through-finals would be the president of multi-million dollar company."

Danny grinned. "Imagine what they'll say at the reunion."

When dinner came, they enjoyed the meal, quietly reminiscing at the good 'ole times. There was really much to catch up on. Both sad times and happy ones. Mostly, they kept away from Scully's more recent problems and laughed at memories. Not for a long time had Scully had such a good time. Part of it might have been due to the alcohol. After the entire sixty-dollar bottle of Dom Perignon was gone, Danny had ordered another bottle.

After another sip of the wine, Danny looked down into Scully's eyes. "Dana," He said, his voice slightly wavering from intoxication. "I missed you."

Though it was said under the influence, Scully knew it was genuine. She did not realize that she had missed him until tonight. She put her half-empty glass on the table and he took her hand. She knew precisely what he was thinking, because she had been thinking the same thing.

He moved close enough to her for her to wrap her arms around his neck. His head dipped down and their lips met. Her mind was swimming in wine and her heart was pounding in her chest. The kiss was laced with sweet wine and the kind of hunger only drunken lost lovers could possess.

~~~~~~~~~

Mulder's Residence

9:31 p.m.

Not far from where his partner was getting drunk and wild with an old boyfriend, Mulder was sitting in his darkened living room, watching old reruns of South Park. He had to sit in the beat-up chair in the corner, for his beloved sofa had long since been moved to Scully's. The only thing he had to do was drink. He did not have fine wine, he had a six pack of beer and a bottle of tequila. He was not really drunk yet, though.

He had gotten home late, trying to keep busy in the office for as long as possible. Now he was thoroughly bored and miserable. Not only did he not know where his partner was, he was not sure if he wanted to know. She was so angry, she could be anywhere doing anything.

Mulder was thinking about how much this really disgusted him when the phone rang. Hoping against hope that it would be Scully, he jumped up to the desk to answer it.

"Hello?" He answered a little too excitedly.

"Fox?" A quiet voice asked. The voice was familiar, young and innocent.

"Zoe, what's wrong?" His tone changed from anticipation to worry.

"Can you come over?" Her voice was a bit shaky and troubled as well.

"Why?"

"Dana was supposed to come home an hour ago, and she's still not back yet."

"Back from where?"

Zoe paused for a second, he did not know about Danny. "Her date."

Mulder did not know what to say. Her date? She went out on a date? With who? Thoughts of revenge on this person began to build up inside him. "Sure, Zoe, I'll come over."

He had not seen Zoe since yesterday morning, and it was like missing your own child. It would also be a chance for him to confront Scully when she returned.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tangiers Bar and Pub

10:02 p.m.

After their first kiss, many more followed. As the second bottle of wine disappeared, both Danny and Scully became more tipsy. They eventually got too loud and obnoxious. Their waitress even came back with the check early, politely asking them to leave.

Scully hung onto Danny's arm as they stumbled down the street. They were more drunk than Scully had ever been in her entire life. She knew it was wrong, that if she was found like this, it would be her ass. That didn't matter right now. Fine wine and old lovers was a good (not healthy) remedy for the blues. Before she had gotten drunk, she would have never thought of taking Danny home, but now the thought kept coming back into her mind.

They bumbled down the sidewalk with no cares in the world. Somehow, Danny ended up loudly singing 'Careless Love'. His voice was loud with no key and no tune. It was only drunken music.

Scully laughed at his sad attempts at entertainment.

"Oh look what careless love has done." He sang/yelled at passerby's.

"Danny," Scully whispered to him, stopping their walking.

He stopped singing and looked down at her.

"I've got a really good idea. . ." Her voice was low and husky, a voice she only had at *choice* times.

Danny caught her drifted and slipped his arms around her waist. "Oh yeah, what's that?"

She smirked provocatively and spoke again in her wanting voice. "Let's go back to my place."

Danny returned her erotic grin and kissed her. His breath was hot and drunk against hers. She let her tongue explore the roof of his mouth. She giggled into his mouth and pushed away from him.

<Tempting.> He thought, pulling her back. He put his lips to hers once again and passed a hand up her thigh. He felt her shiver beneath her coat and decided it was time to go. He kept an arm about her waist and hailed a cab.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scully's Residence

10:04

"I just don't know what's keeping her." Zoe fretted, scanning the road in a longing anxiety.

Mulder didn't know what to say to put the girl's fears to rest. Scully was usually very prompt, this was very unlike her. She was and hour-and-a-half late and frankly, he was starting to worry too.

Zoe was sitting by the window, fidgeting like a mother waiting for her teenage daughter. Mulder was stretched out on his much-missed couch, worrying in a more calm manner. It was late, and he yawned repeatedly. Zoe should have been in bed long ago, it was a school night.

"Zoe, come over here." He beckoned.

She turned from the window, a dismal look on her face. She approached him on the couch and climbed up on top of him. Being the fatherly figure, he let her rest on him.

"I think something might have happened to her." She finally confessed, with her head resting on his chest.

"Don't worry about that." He comforted.

"Fox," She began, "what would you do if we moved?

"What do you mean?"

"Dana is thinking about moving away. She doesn't want to live in DC anymore." Zoe paused, and a frustrated tear fell down the side of her cheek. "I don't wanna move away from you, Fox. I want to stay here. I want you to be Daddy."

Mulder didn't really know if the last sentence was a tired child's words, or a true statement. The fact that Scully was thinking of leaving him was disturbing. He had convinced her to stay once, under very different circumstances. If she was to remain mad at him, she might go this time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Danny and Scully arrived at Scully's place over a half an hour later. They stumbled into the elevator, and down the hall. The walked down the hall loudly, laughing at each other's drunken stupidity. Scully spoke to him in that lusty voice, drawing Danny to her apartment.

When she reached the door she was pretty sure was hers, she fumbled for the keys. "Which of these is the right one?" She asked Danny, as if he would know.

"Got me," He answered dizzily. He went to lean against the wall as she contemplated keys, misjudged the distance, and ended up sprawled on the floor.

Scully laughed at his actions, and almost fell over herself. Her noisy laughter rang up and down the halls, waking neighbors.

She finally found the right key and shoved it into the doorknob. As she turned the lock, Danny stood up on rubbery legs. When she opened the door, he lost his balance and leaned against her back. She began laughing again as he straightened himself.

Then, she turned back to the door for the key and found that it wouldn't come out of the keyhole. "It's stuck." She announced. "It won't come out."

Danny laughed at the sickly twisted joke. "Let's hope that doesn't happen later." He muttered sarcastically.

Scully managed to pull the key out and shut the door, all without falling down. She then turned her attention to the other drunk person in the room.

Suddenly, from behind her, another male voice came. "Scully?" It inquired.

She whirled drunkenly around to face this new voice. Mulder was sitting on the black-leather couch, a still sleeping Zoe in his lap. Her expression dropped from a wasted amusement to an instantly sober frown. "Mulder!" She exclaimed, surprised.

He cocked his head, and looked at her oddly. Then, he stood up, still cradling the young child. He carried her to her room, put her in bed, and shut the door behind himself. He managed to keep calm, knowing it was his idiocy that drove her to this.

"Are you DRUNK?" He asked, knowing she was but wanting her answer.

"Not anymore." She answered seriously.

Mulder nodded, understanding that she had been *slapped* sober by his surprising presence. His eyes shifted from her to the not-so-sober man leaning against the door. "I don't believe I've met him." He stated.

Scully glanced back at Danny distractedly. "Danny, this is Mulder. Mulder, Danny." She gestured.

Mulder crossed his arms and furrowed his brows, waiting for what Scully's next move would be. Scully glared icily at him, all the drunken bemusement gone from her mind. She turned around to Danny and grabbed his arm. She dragged him out into the hall where she spoke in more quieted tones:

"Danny, I had a really good time tonight. I'm sorry it has to end like this, but it does. Go home and sleep off that wine. Be safe."

He looked down at her disappointedly. "That's it?" He asked, not quite getting it.

"Yes." She answered smugly. Just to fully show her appreciation, she kissed him briefly on the cheek. "Maybe someday I can do the same for you." She said as she shut the door on him.

Mulder was still standing in the same spot. Except, now his expression was more a plea for forgiveness than an accusation. His eyes were downcast to the floor, hoping that she would not kick him out.

"Why are you here?" She asked hardly as she went into the kitchen for some Tylenol for her suddenly arising headache.

"Zoe called me." He replied quietly, trying not to make her mad. "She said you were running late and she was getting worried so I came over to comfort her."

"Oh God. . ." Scully muttered. She put her hand on her forehead and rubbed her aching temples. She had completely forgotten about Piper's curfew. She was not supposed to sit after nine-thirty on weeknights. Besides that, she had told Zoe eight-thirty and ended up being over two hours late. Guilt began to build up beneath her skin.

"I also wanted to talk with you."

Scully looked up into his eyes for the first time in two days. She saw an apology there, and was willing to accept. "Okay," She said as she walked to the sofa he had previously been dozing on. "let's talk."

Mulder sat down beside her and tried to think of how to explain this. "You didn't let me explain the rest of my marriage to Diana. We were only together for two years. It just wasn't meant to be."

"Why did you get divorced?"

"I guess I just couldn't have two loves in my life at the time. I chose the search for my sister and the X-files over her." Mulder propped his elbows on his knees and put his chin in his hands. It was a position as if he was ashamed of what he had done. "She was offered a position in Berlin. She made me choose her or the X-files." He paused to look at Scully. "The rest is history."

"Why didn't you ever tell me?"

"I don't know." He answered honestly. "I guess I always thought it would be better if you didn't know. To make our lives less complicated."

"When in fact, it only made them more."

Mulder sat up and locked his gaze on hers. "Now, the truth is out. The question is, what are we going to do about it?"

"I don't know. . ." Dana trailed off, rethinking all of her conclusions. "if things can go back to the way they were."

Now Mulder did let his eyes drift from hers. "Zoe says you're thinking about moving."

"I was." She confessed.

"Are you still?"

Scully stood up, she had been waiting for this to come. Was she supposed to lie and say no? Or lie and say yes? It was a consideration, nothing definite. "I don't know. Mulder, I just can't do this anymore. I'm so tired of all the lies, the betrayal, the secrets. . .I want a new beginning, a fresh start. I don't want to raise Zoe in this city either. I want her to go to a safe school. I want her to have a big house with a backyard and a dog. Most of all, I want her to have TWO parents, not just one."

<HINT! HINT! HINT!> Alarms went off in Mulder's head. This was what he had been waiting for; the *perfect* moment. "Dana, I don't ever want to lose you. If you were to go, and leave me alone, I. . .I don't know what I'd do." He stammered. "You are my life, my soul, my energy, everything to me. I love you so much. . ." It was his turn to trail off. He saw the tears emerging in Scully's eyes and wanted to hold her.

He did. She let him hold her close, embracing her more tightly than ever before. He took her hand and they sat back on the couch again. He kissed her forehead before taking her chin in his hand.

"I love you, too." She whispered. Her voice was barely audible, but her message was clear. "Fox, I love you. More than words can express."

Mulder looked down at his lap. His heart pounded in his chest, and his breaths came in short gasps. Never before had he been so nervous. He reached slowly into his pocket. His fingers brushed a velvety box-shape within the warm cloth of his jeans. He wrapped his hand around it slowly, drawing out his own anticipation. He held it gently in an enclosed fist, as if it was so delicate it might break. The black velvet was warm from being in his pocket for so long. Finally, he held the box out to her. He dramatically opened it, letting the spring contraption split the two halves. Inside, nestled on a velvet pillow was a beautiful diamond ring. The lamp light glinted off its polished sides and perfect gold band.

He managed to pull his eyes away from the ring to look at her. Scully gasped when she saw it, her blue eyes sparkling behind her tears. One of those tears of joy and utter awe rolled unnoticed down her cheek. She put her hand to her mouth and almost cried out. She looked into his eyes as more tears spilled down her face. He smiled at her and wiped them away. Before he could lose his courage he told her: "Dana, I want to be with you forever. I want to be Zoe's father in that big house with the dog." Her eyes shimmered. A tear even slipped down his cheek. "Will you marry me?"

Scully could not say anything. Her answer was given to him in a long, passionate kiss. More tears streamed down her face as she covered his face and mouth with wine-laced kisses.

He smiled and hugged her tightly. "I'll take that for a yes." He said quietly.

"Yes." She whispered. "Yes, I'll marry you."

She watched intently as he plucked the ring gently from it's velvet bed. He took her hand and kissed its back before slipping the ring--ever so gently--onto her finger. She wrapped her arms around his back and held onto him for dear life. Suddenly, she was sorry for everything she had done. She regretted her date with Danny, and for being so goddamn stubborn. She looked once more at her left hand. The ring looked so perfect around her ring-finger, sparkling against her fair skin. She could hardly believe this was real, almost dreading that any instant she could wake up with the wrong man beside her. The reality of what was going on caught up with her. She was ENGAGED to FOX MULDER. A partner of seven years and it had taken them this long to finally figure out their love for one another. Scully gripped onto his back even tighter and began to cry. She cried from happiness, and surprise. So much joy filled her, she felt as though she might faint.

Mulder felt his partner crying against his back. He pulled her away, so her could see the ecstasy in her eyes again. It was there, her eyes never looked so blue, or so happy. He stroked a tear from her cheek and rested his forehead against hers. There were no words to be spoken between them. No words could ever express how they were truly feeling. Peace, joy, love; all fell short of the sheer exultation of the moment.

Mulder put his hand behind her head and pulled her lips to his. The kiss lasted a lifetime, filled with the utmost amount of love and rapture, rimmed with sweet wine. Their tongues explored each other's mouths and they breathed each other's breaths. He felt as though he could be with her like this for the rest of his life. His fingers ran through her blazing hair as her hands ran up and down his back. He began to push her backwards, ready to take her right there on his sofa.

No thoughts of Zoe happening upon them filled their heads. They were now both drunk with desire. Scully's heart pounded beneath her chest, it was like the first time they had made love, only better. She felt his hands slip around behind her back and unzip her dress. She clawed at his shirt, beckoning him to take it off. She wanted to feel his heart beneath his chest, to know if was pounding like hers. He pulled the gray tee-shirt over his head as she slid the spaghetti-strapped dress off her body. Mulder leaned down and began kissing her neck as he reached behind her once again. He easily unclasped her strapless bra and pulled it away from her skin. She laced her hands about his neck, pulling herself up and closer to him. She kissed his lips again, pressing her breasts against his bare chest.

He shivered with excitement moved as his hands lower down her. As he did so, he never let his touch leave her body. Her skin was so soft against his, he wanted to feel it forever. As gently as he could, he slipped her nylons down her legs, relishing in the smooth softness of her skin. Meanwhile, she was unbuttoning his jeans, and sliding them down his lean hips.

<<Morning smiles like the face of a newborn child

Innocent unknowing

Winter's end promises of a long lost friend

Speaks to me of comfort>>

Starting at his belly-button, Scully trailed her hand up his chest, in between his pecs, and to his neck. She pulled up against him again as he still rose over her. She kissed a line down his neck and shoulder. When she let him go, he reached to the side and swept all the sofa cushions off the sofa. Then, he fell down beside her as she pulled his boxers over his hips and down his thighs. He lay beside her, kissing her passionately, pressing his body against hers. His skin was hot against hers, stippling with an erotic sweat. They became involved with a kiss as he passed his hand down between her thighs. The flesh was hot and wanting there, waiting for him. His erection was hard and aching against her thigh. He slipped his fingers throught her pubic hair, searching for her clitoris. He tenderly brushed it back and forth as her hips rocked round his hand and against his body. She cried out before he entered her, the eagerness and hunger growing like wildfire.

<<But I fear I have nothing to give

I have so much to lose

Here in this lonely place

Tangled up in your embrace

There's nothing I'd like better than to fall

But I fear I have nothing to give

Wind in time rapes the flower trembling on the vine

And nothing yields to shelter it from above

They say temptation will destroy our love

The never ending hunger>>

As he found his way into her, she clawed into his back almost hard enough to make him cry out. She bucked her hips against his and kissed his lips. He cupped her breast in his hand, tracing lazy circles around the nipple. It grew hard immediately with his touch. Their hearts beat as one, and they swayed to a melody all their own, a tune only they knew. When she reached her climax, she called out his name. Not the name she usually referred to him by, but his first name. The name that would be hers forever.

<<But I fear I have nothing to give

I have so much to lose

Here in this lonely place

Tangled up in our embrace

There's nothing I'd like better than to fall

But I fear I have nothing to give

I have so much to lose

I have nothing to give

We have so much to lose. . .>>

Afterwards, they lay together, wrapped in a blanket that had been thrown over the other couch. Mulder had drifted off, sleeping a dreamless sleep. Scully lay awake in his arms, listening to his slow, paced breaths. She was happy here with him, it was the only place she ever was truly happy. She slipped the ring off her finger and studied it. It glittered in the moonlight, giving off a beautiful, blissful glow. Dana still couldn't believe what had happened tonight. It had all gone by so fast, but ended with the most wonderful moment in her entire life. She put the ring back on her finger, turned to her side and gazed at her sleeping fiancé. She pressed nearer to him, kissed him tenderly on the corner of his mouth and rested her head on his chest. Her much desired new beginning was about to come.

~~x~~x~~x~~x~~FIN~~x~~x~~x~~x~~

So, what did you think? Feedback is what I live for so don't hesitate, SEND IT!!! I guess you can't wait for the next one. It most likely going to be exactly what you're thinking.